IMPERIAL RESIDENCE—The Jennymobile, a 2002 Citroën Xsara used as the official state vehicle of the Imperial Family, has been retired today after almost two decades of service.
The car is an infamous part of Essexian cultural tradition, most closely associated with the Emperor’s various engagements around the Commonwealth. The term ‘Jennymobile’ was coined in 2017, as its primary driver was the Emperor’s mother Jenny, who operated what was described as a ‘state taxi service.’
Most notably, the Jennymobile crashed into the gates of Les Paddocks, the state residence of the former Earl of Danbury Jack, and location of various Parliament meetings. The incident caused major, irreversible damage to the gate and caused significant reputational damage to the Emperor’s mother, who Jack would ridicule for years to come.
The cause for the retirement of the vehicle is unknown. No official statement has been made, other than through the Second Ministry under Jamie M, who said, presumably in jest;
‘The office of the First Minister has declared a second national emergency! The Emperors personal transportation motor vehicle has fallen.’
It has been assumed by sources close to the Imperial Family that the ageing car, which was almost 20 years old, suffered a crippling engine failure—luckily in the absence of the Emperor.
It is not known when or even if a replacement vehicle is being planned. The Jennymobile was a vitally important tool in fulfilling not only the Emperor’s daily schedule, but the workings of much of the Essexian government—the Emperor’s mother would frequently transport various members of the Essexian government to meetings, most notably The Danbury Conference in Hawarden, and the 2019 Defence Review in Les Paddocks.
What is for sure, is that the nation mourns on a day of great national sadness, as it marks the end of an era for an icon of Essexian culture.